Relationship Theories That Actually Make Sense
Think of relationships like business transactions (sounds unromantic, but hear us out). Social Exchange Theory suggests we all follow a 'minimax' principle - maximising rewards whilst minimising costs. You're constantly weighing up whether your relationship gives good 'value for money' in terms of time, energy, and emotional investment.
The theory identifies four stages: sampling (testing the waters), bargaining (negotiating what works), commitment (things become predictable), and institutionalisation (settling into established patterns). Your comparison level - what you think you deserve - heavily influences relationship satisfaction.
Rusbult's Investment Model adds another crucial factor: investment. Even if satisfaction drops, couples with high investment (shared memories, children, property) are more likely to work through problems. It's not just about happiness - it's about how much you'd lose by leaving.
Key insight: Equity theory suggests fairness matters more than maximising gains - relationships work best when both partners feel the give-and-take is balanced.
When relationships do break down, Duck's Phase Model shows it's rarely sudden. It starts with private worry intra−psychic, moves to confrontations (dyadic), becomes public (social), then ends with reputation management grave−dressing. Understanding these phases can actually help save struggling relationships.