Language, Power and Politeness Theory
Ever notice how you automatically change your tone when asking your boss for time off versus chatting with friends? That's politeness theory in action, developed by Brown & Levinson to explain how we navigate social interactions without stepping on toes.
Face represents how you want to be seen by the world - basically your social image. We all have positive face (wanting to be liked and accepted) and negative face (wanting freedom from being bossed about). When someone threatens either through criticism or demands, that's a face threatening act.
Positive politeness shows others they're valued through compliments and friendly language. Negative politeness respects people's independence by being apologetic and not imposing - think "Sorry to bother you, but could you possibly..."
Key insight: Most social awkwardness comes from face threatening acts - learn to recognise them and you'll understand why certain conversations feel uncomfortable!
Grice's Maxims from 1975 explain how normal conversation works through four rules: quantity (give enough info), quality (be truthful), relevance (stay on topic), and manner (be clear). When speakers break these rules through flouting (obviously breaking them) or violating (secretly breaking them), they create implicature - hidden meanings like sarcasm that listeners must work out.