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7 Dec 2025

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Understanding Social Exchange Theory in Relationships: A Simplified Guide

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Amy Breen @amybreen_ikkr

Ever wondered why some relationships thrive while others fail? Social Exchange Theory treats relationships like business deals, suggesting... Show more

We judge our satisfaction
of relationships in terms of
the profit it yields (rewards-costs)

Relationships reflect the
economic assumption o

Social Exchange Theory Relationships as Profit and Loss

Think of your relationships like a bank account - you're constantly making deposits (rewards) and withdrawals (costs). Social Exchange Theory, developed by Thibault and Kelley, argues that we judge our relationship satisfaction based on whether we're making a profit (rewards minus costs).

Rewards might include companionship, emotional support, intimacy, or just having someone to binge-watch Netflix with. Costs could be the time you invest, stress from arguments, energy spent compromising, or missing out on other opportunities. The theory suggests we're basically relationship accountants, constantly calculating whether we're getting a good deal.

Your comparison level (CL) acts like your relationship standards - it's what you think you deserve based on past experiences and what you've seen in films, books, and social media. Meanwhile, your comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) is how attractive other options look. If your current relationship profit drops below these levels, you're more likely to jump ship.

Key Insight The theory predicts we only stay in relationships when they're more rewarding than the alternatives - even if we're currently satisfied!

The theory outlines four stages sampling (exploring what's out there), bargaining (negotiating early relationship terms), commitment (settling into stability), and institutionalisation establishinglongtermpatternsestablishing long-term patterns. Each stage involves different calculations of costs and benefits.

Research support comes from Kurdeck's study showing that the most committed partners perceived the most rewards, fewest costs, and found alternatives least attractive. However, critics like Carr and Mills argue this approach is too cold and calculating for romantic relationships, which are based on genuine care rather than profit motives.

The theory faces several limitations it's reductionist (ignoring emotional complexity), assumes we're always self-interested, and struggles with the direction of cause and effect - Argyle suggests we only start counting costs and benefits after we're already dissatisfied, not before.

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very reliable app to help and grow your ideas of Maths, English and other related topics in your works. please use this app if your struggling in areas, this app is key for that. wish I'd of done a review before. and it's also free so don't worry about that.

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I know a lot of apps use fake accounts to boost their reviews but this app deserves it all. Originally I was getting 4 in my English exams and this time I got a grade 7. I didn’t even know about this app three days until the exam and it has helped A LOT. Please actually trust me and use it as I’m sure you too will see developments.

Xander S

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THE QUIZES AND FLASHCARDS ARE SO USEFUL AND I LOVE THE SCHOOLGPT. IT ALSO IS LITREALLY LIKE CHATGPT BUT SMARTER!! HELPED ME WITH MY MASCARA PROBLEMS TOO!! AS WELL AS MY REAL SUBJECTS ! DUHHH 😍😁😲🤑💗✨🎀😮

Elisha

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This apps acc the goat. I find revision so boring but this app makes it so easy to organize it all and then you can ask the freeeee ai to test yourself so good and you can easily upload your own stuff. highly recommend as someone taking mocks now

Paul T

iOS user

The app is very easy to use and well designed. I have found everything I was looking for so far and have been able to learn a lot from the presentations! I will definitely use the app for a class assignment! And of course it also helps a lot as an inspiration.

Stefan S

iOS user

This app is really great. There are so many study notes and help [...]. My problem subject is French, for example, and the app has so many options for help. Thanks to this app, I have improved my French. I would recommend it to anyone.

Samantha Klich

Android user

Wow, I am really amazed. I just tried the app because I've seen it advertised many times and was absolutely stunned. This app is THE HELP you want for school and above all, it offers so many things, such as workouts and fact sheets, which have been VERY helpful to me personally.

Anna

iOS user

Best app on earth! no words because it’s too good

Thomas R

iOS user

Just amazing. Let's me revise 10x better, this app is a quick 10/10. I highly recommend it to anyone. I can watch and search for notes. I can save them in the subject folder. I can revise it any time when I come back. If you haven't tried this app, you're really missing out.

Basil

Android user

This app has made me feel so much more confident in my exam prep, not only through boosting my own self confidence through the features that allow you to connect with others and feel less alone, but also through the way the app itself is centred around making you feel better. It is easy to navigate, fun to use, and helpful to anyone struggling in absolutely any way.

David K

iOS user

The app's just great! All I have to do is enter the topic in the search bar and I get the response real fast. I don't have to watch 10 YouTube videos to understand something, so I'm saving my time. Highly recommended!

Sudenaz Ocak

Android user

In school I was really bad at maths but thanks to the app, I am doing better now. I am so grateful that you made the app.

Greenlight Bonnie

Android user

very reliable app to help and grow your ideas of Maths, English and other related topics in your works. please use this app if your struggling in areas, this app is key for that. wish I'd of done a review before. and it's also free so don't worry about that.

Rohan U

Android user

I know a lot of apps use fake accounts to boost their reviews but this app deserves it all. Originally I was getting 4 in my English exams and this time I got a grade 7. I didn’t even know about this app three days until the exam and it has helped A LOT. Please actually trust me and use it as I’m sure you too will see developments.

Xander S

iOS user

THE QUIZES AND FLASHCARDS ARE SO USEFUL AND I LOVE THE SCHOOLGPT. IT ALSO IS LITREALLY LIKE CHATGPT BUT SMARTER!! HELPED ME WITH MY MASCARA PROBLEMS TOO!! AS WELL AS MY REAL SUBJECTS ! DUHHH 😍😁😲🤑💗✨🎀😮

Elisha

iOS user

This apps acc the goat. I find revision so boring but this app makes it so easy to organize it all and then you can ask the freeeee ai to test yourself so good and you can easily upload your own stuff. highly recommend as someone taking mocks now

Paul T

iOS user

 

Psychology

164

7 Dec 2025

1 page

Understanding Social Exchange Theory in Relationships: A Simplified Guide

user profile picture

Amy Breen

@amybreen_ikkr

Ever wondered why some relationships thrive while others fail? Social Exchange Theory treats relationships like business deals, suggesting we constantly weigh up what we're getting versus what we're giving to decide if it's worth staying.

We judge our satisfaction
of relationships in terms of
the profit it yields (rewards-costs)

Relationships reflect the
economic assumption o

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Social Exchange Theory: Relationships as Profit and Loss

Think of your relationships like a bank account - you're constantly making deposits (rewards) and withdrawals (costs). Social Exchange Theory, developed by Thibault and Kelley, argues that we judge our relationship satisfaction based on whether we're making a profit (rewards minus costs).

Rewards might include companionship, emotional support, intimacy, or just having someone to binge-watch Netflix with. Costs could be the time you invest, stress from arguments, energy spent compromising, or missing out on other opportunities. The theory suggests we're basically relationship accountants, constantly calculating whether we're getting a good deal.

Your comparison level (CL) acts like your relationship standards - it's what you think you deserve based on past experiences and what you've seen in films, books, and social media. Meanwhile, your comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) is how attractive other options look. If your current relationship profit drops below these levels, you're more likely to jump ship.

Key Insight: The theory predicts we only stay in relationships when they're more rewarding than the alternatives - even if we're currently satisfied!

The theory outlines four stages: sampling (exploring what's out there), bargaining (negotiating early relationship terms), commitment (settling into stability), and institutionalisation establishinglongtermpatternsestablishing long-term patterns. Each stage involves different calculations of costs and benefits.

Research support comes from Kurdeck's study showing that the most committed partners perceived the most rewards, fewest costs, and found alternatives least attractive. However, critics like Carr and Mills argue this approach is too cold and calculating for romantic relationships, which are based on genuine care rather than profit motives.

The theory faces several limitations: it's reductionist (ignoring emotional complexity), assumes we're always self-interested, and struggles with the direction of cause and effect - Argyle suggests we only start counting costs and benefits after we're already dissatisfied, not before.

We thought you’d never ask...

What is the Knowunity AI companion?

Our AI Companion is a student-focused AI tool that offers more than just answers. Built on millions of Knowunity resources, it provides relevant information, personalised study plans, quizzes, and content directly in the chat, adapting to your individual learning journey.

Where can I download the Knowunity app?

You can download the app from Google Play Store and Apple App Store.

Is Knowunity really free of charge?

That's right! Enjoy free access to study content, connect with fellow students, and get instant help – all at your fingertips.

Most popular content in Psychology

Most popular content

English - inspector calls quotes and analysis

Quotes from every main character

English LiteratureEnglish Literature
10

Can't find what you're looking for? Explore other subjects.

Students love us — and so will you.

4.9/5

App Store

4.8/5

Google Play

The app is very easy to use and well designed. I have found everything I was looking for so far and have been able to learn a lot from the presentations! I will definitely use the app for a class assignment! And of course it also helps a lot as an inspiration.

Stefan S

iOS user

This app is really great. There are so many study notes and help [...]. My problem subject is French, for example, and the app has so many options for help. Thanks to this app, I have improved my French. I would recommend it to anyone.

Samantha Klich

Android user

Wow, I am really amazed. I just tried the app because I've seen it advertised many times and was absolutely stunned. This app is THE HELP you want for school and above all, it offers so many things, such as workouts and fact sheets, which have been VERY helpful to me personally.

Anna

iOS user

Best app on earth! no words because it’s too good

Thomas R

iOS user

Just amazing. Let's me revise 10x better, this app is a quick 10/10. I highly recommend it to anyone. I can watch and search for notes. I can save them in the subject folder. I can revise it any time when I come back. If you haven't tried this app, you're really missing out.

Basil

Android user

This app has made me feel so much more confident in my exam prep, not only through boosting my own self confidence through the features that allow you to connect with others and feel less alone, but also through the way the app itself is centred around making you feel better. It is easy to navigate, fun to use, and helpful to anyone struggling in absolutely any way.

David K

iOS user

The app's just great! All I have to do is enter the topic in the search bar and I get the response real fast. I don't have to watch 10 YouTube videos to understand something, so I'm saving my time. Highly recommended!

Sudenaz Ocak

Android user

In school I was really bad at maths but thanks to the app, I am doing better now. I am so grateful that you made the app.

Greenlight Bonnie

Android user

very reliable app to help and grow your ideas of Maths, English and other related topics in your works. please use this app if your struggling in areas, this app is key for that. wish I'd of done a review before. and it's also free so don't worry about that.

Rohan U

Android user

I know a lot of apps use fake accounts to boost their reviews but this app deserves it all. Originally I was getting 4 in my English exams and this time I got a grade 7. I didn’t even know about this app three days until the exam and it has helped A LOT. Please actually trust me and use it as I’m sure you too will see developments.

Xander S

iOS user

THE QUIZES AND FLASHCARDS ARE SO USEFUL AND I LOVE THE SCHOOLGPT. IT ALSO IS LITREALLY LIKE CHATGPT BUT SMARTER!! HELPED ME WITH MY MASCARA PROBLEMS TOO!! AS WELL AS MY REAL SUBJECTS ! DUHHH 😍😁😲🤑💗✨🎀😮

Elisha

iOS user

This apps acc the goat. I find revision so boring but this app makes it so easy to organize it all and then you can ask the freeeee ai to test yourself so good and you can easily upload your own stuff. highly recommend as someone taking mocks now

Paul T

iOS user

The app is very easy to use and well designed. I have found everything I was looking for so far and have been able to learn a lot from the presentations! I will definitely use the app for a class assignment! And of course it also helps a lot as an inspiration.

Stefan S

iOS user

This app is really great. There are so many study notes and help [...]. My problem subject is French, for example, and the app has so many options for help. Thanks to this app, I have improved my French. I would recommend it to anyone.

Samantha Klich

Android user

Wow, I am really amazed. I just tried the app because I've seen it advertised many times and was absolutely stunned. This app is THE HELP you want for school and above all, it offers so many things, such as workouts and fact sheets, which have been VERY helpful to me personally.

Anna

iOS user

Best app on earth! no words because it’s too good

Thomas R

iOS user

Just amazing. Let's me revise 10x better, this app is a quick 10/10. I highly recommend it to anyone. I can watch and search for notes. I can save them in the subject folder. I can revise it any time when I come back. If you haven't tried this app, you're really missing out.

Basil

Android user

This app has made me feel so much more confident in my exam prep, not only through boosting my own self confidence through the features that allow you to connect with others and feel less alone, but also through the way the app itself is centred around making you feel better. It is easy to navigate, fun to use, and helpful to anyone struggling in absolutely any way.

David K

iOS user

The app's just great! All I have to do is enter the topic in the search bar and I get the response real fast. I don't have to watch 10 YouTube videos to understand something, so I'm saving my time. Highly recommended!

Sudenaz Ocak

Android user

In school I was really bad at maths but thanks to the app, I am doing better now. I am so grateful that you made the app.

Greenlight Bonnie

Android user

very reliable app to help and grow your ideas of Maths, English and other related topics in your works. please use this app if your struggling in areas, this app is key for that. wish I'd of done a review before. and it's also free so don't worry about that.

Rohan U

Android user

I know a lot of apps use fake accounts to boost their reviews but this app deserves it all. Originally I was getting 4 in my English exams and this time I got a grade 7. I didn’t even know about this app three days until the exam and it has helped A LOT. Please actually trust me and use it as I’m sure you too will see developments.

Xander S

iOS user

THE QUIZES AND FLASHCARDS ARE SO USEFUL AND I LOVE THE SCHOOLGPT. IT ALSO IS LITREALLY LIKE CHATGPT BUT SMARTER!! HELPED ME WITH MY MASCARA PROBLEMS TOO!! AS WELL AS MY REAL SUBJECTS ! DUHHH 😍😁😲🤑💗✨🎀😮

Elisha

iOS user

This apps acc the goat. I find revision so boring but this app makes it so easy to organize it all and then you can ask the freeeee ai to test yourself so good and you can easily upload your own stuff. highly recommend as someone taking mocks now

Paul T

iOS user